You might be passed up if you look “too attractive.” What is “too attractive”? you might ask. Well…That’s actually very difficult to say because it varies from person to person depending on their proclivities and opinions (aka what they find attractive).
How can you work through this?
Well…This is also difficult to answer. It’s not your fault if someone sees you as “too attractive” or “out of their league,” right? Well, usually no. But, ask yourself this: Do you like highlighting your looks as a guy? Do you like projecting a lifestyle that befits someone who seems “popular”? How would you describe yourself? Hardworking? Outgoing? Brave? Or just sociable and happy go lucky?
Let your photos reflect who YOU ARE not what you look like while still giving the potential dates a view of your face (just because its safer and because 9.9times out of 10 no one really feels comfortable replying back to a person without a face.)
Selfies in the mirror are really old, it was acceptable when phones didn’t have a selfie camera in them. Now, it’s unnecessary. So…um…stop doing it?
It doesn’t mean you are a narcissist if you do this. A narcissist inflates their own ego, exaggerates their achievements, and feel entitled. They are defensive and hate feeling inferior. (also, despite popular belief, men and women are about equal in making up the world’s population of narcissists.)
Selfies in the mirror give an impression of extreme vanity. Selfies, in general, do the same, but the punch isn’t quite as hard because selfies are so common now. But, while a selfie says “I’m likable” and looking into a mirror is like also telling yourself you are likable, putting both together is like saying “LOOK AT ME! AREN’T I LIKABLE? I’M SO LIKABLE! LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! I’M SO LIKABLE! YOU SHOULD LIKE ME LIKE I LIKE ME!”
It’s a bit much, don’t you think?
This advice can actually go for anyone, but since I’m, personally, primarily interested in the male species (God, don’t ask me why. Even I don’t know), I’m going to be using my own experiences with men in the dating world.
So, for example, of what is considered a boast and how it can get you into trouble:
Guy messages me with nothing more than a “hey girl, you’re gorgeous.” First thing I do is check out his profile. Is he cute? Funny? Quirky? Smart?
He talks about how he’s going to be a surgeon one day and he’s halfway through his second bachelor’s degree. Which is REALLY cool! Or it would have been if I could have believed him.
He misspelled “college” (not “collage”), used the incorrect form of “too,” continuously reused the same phrases in the same sentences back to back repeating the word “probably” and “actually” more than a few times, as well as talked about much I or anyone who checked out his profile would not regret talking to him.
I believe he was in college. On his second degree, maybe. But, his talk about how learning and studying was his life felt like just that…talk.
The lesson is, if you can’t back up what you say, don’t say it.
I had a recent experience where a man was angry with me for rejecting him and he berated me and called me ugly inside because I wasn’t interested and refused to talk to him and give him a reason why. I just wasn’t interested. I didn’t call him anything horrible or say anything horrible. I just stopped talking to him after telling him I wasn’t interested.
One thing he said was that he would have “treated me like a goddess” made me really concerned for men in our society.
Guys (for those of you who like girls), don’t treat women like goddesses. We’re not. We’re just as human as you are. We make mistakes and we bleed just like everyone else. Women shouldn’t treat men like Gods because they aren’t and men shouldn’t treat women like goddesses for the very same reason. It’s unhealthy.
Putting people on a pedestal is unhealthy. It only leads to unhappiness and disappointment. Men and women are both made of the same blood and bone. What you need is to find a Queen or a King to rule at your side. Not a God or Goddess to look up to.