Dating Advice #21 – #25

Advice #21:


Strike the following from your vault of “pick up” lines because no, they do not work. And they really aren’t as flattering as you think. The girl responses below are what we’re all thinking, but also because there is no way she’s going to message you back.

“Hey, Sexy.”

Girl response: Hello, creepy guy who seems to only want sex. Buh-Bye.


“Got a lot of hot pics. Nice.”

Girl response: Wow! You really took the time to go through my pictures and now you’re commenting on my body. You must be a real creeper…I mean keeper.


“Okay I see you do and/or like [insert anything…literally anything], We can talk.”

Girl response: Oh no, honey. Don’t go to any trouble on my account. You’ve successfully proven how pretentious you are. I’m sure even if I meet your standards that I can do SO much better.


“Hi.” (Just that. Nothing else. Might get a message back…depends on the situation)

Girl response: Do I…Do I just say “hi” back? What…do I do? It just says “hi.” I don’t…ugh….if I say hi back it’s just gonna result in an hour or two of one worded small talk BS.


“3 reasons why I should go out with you. Go!”

Girl response: How about no reasons? Because you. are. not. worth. my. time. A**hole.


“You like sports? Who’s your favorite football team and who are their star players?”

Girl response: (to self) Do I feel like being interrogated because this guy obviously has a stereotype on an entire gender? No…no I do not.


Advice #22: 

Put. A. MotherF*cking. Label. On. Your. Relationship.

Modern relationships aren’t “dating” or “courting” or even really labeled as BF/GF relationships anymore. You’re either “talking” or “hanging out.” Do you want to know why these modern labels of “talking” and “hanging out” are so BAD?

Guys who don’t want to label a relationship usually do it for a few different reasons:

A) He isn’t sure and wants more time to figure out if he’s attracted (but hint, if the guy has to “figure out” if he’s attracted, he’s usually not. If this is the case, move on.)

B) He doesn’t want a relationship, just a girl to mess around with. (If this is the case, it’s fine. We all have needs and not all of us want relationships. BUT. BE. HONEST.)

C) He’s afraid of rejection (It’s harder to get over this fear. But, ultimately, you need to decide if it’s worth it or not. The sooner you do so, the better)

Guys who keep girls waiting in limbo are the worst.


If you need time to think it over, don’t hesitate to tell her. But, also remember that you need a few weeks of consistent dating. I’d say give it AT LEAST 3-5 dates before you even broach the big question “What are we?”

Advice #23:

Don’t talk about your ex girlfriends (or boyfriends) unless the other person asks.


Reason 1)

Talking about a past relationship that is no more brings up the reasons WHY that relationship is no more. You really do not want to shine light on what goes wrong in a relationship when you’re trying to focus on something going right.

Reason 2)

This is quite possibly the NEXT significant other. But, talking about an ex on the first date is gonna mark off some points, buddy. It’s a fact of dating. They don’t want to know yet. (unless they ask, then they do)

Reason 3)

It’s awkward. And if you are one of those guys that thinks “It’s only as awkward as you make it,” you are a douchebag. No seriously. Your douchiness is written all over your tan skin, Ralph Lauren polo, and target khakis (which are all fine, I just wanted to be ridiculously specific).

Advice #24: 

5 words.

Put. Your. Goddamn. Phone. Away.


I promise, you’re not gonna die. Put the phone on silent, put it in your pocket, and pay attention to your date. Yes, your DATE, not your hang out buddy (although it’s still rude as Hell to do it to them as well).

There are exceptions, like if you’re a doctor and you’re on call. If you are waiting for an “important” phone call. I leave the meaning of “important” up to you because I thoroughly believe that as adults you can handle that.


Over all, though, if whatever on your phone is THAT important, maybe you shouldn’t be on a date right now. I’m just saying…either way, it’s still pretty rude (doesn’t matter who does it).


Advice #25:

If you find yourself dominating the conversation. Yes, you need to pay attention to that. Ask the other person some questions to get them talking. Relationships aren’t all about silence. They are about communication.


Adversely, if you find that you are not talking enough. SPEAK UP. How can the other person get to know you if you don’t talk.


I, personally, feel like these are easy and should be commonplace. I’m actually pretty shocked that they are not.

How are we over populated again?

(Reminder, because if I don’t post this someone who has nothing better to do with their life will be nick-picking this advice like fucking crazy and expecting political correctness. This advice is subjective and people enjoy/like/dislike/expect different things. This advice is meant for guys and girls looking to date each other. It is said in a semi-joking manner. A lot of it is true. A lot of it is over exaggerated.) 


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