Dating Advice (Mixed Gender) #11 – #14


Advice #11:

I have been subject to many a horrid pick up line in my 21 years. I can say, not a one has worked on me. There were a few close calls where I hesitate because the pick up line used was original and/or uncommon. But, alas, there are many reasons women end up swiping left or turning guys down or just convincing themselves someone better will come along.

Women get hit on all the time. Let me repeat that: ALL. THE. TIME. Commonly used pick up phrases such as “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see [insert wink and obnoxious swagger]” are outdated.

I have been subject to many a horrid pick up line in my 21 years. I can say, not a one has worked on me. There were a few close calls where I hesitated because the pick up line used was original and/or uncommon. So if you are going to use one, I would suggest extreme caution, feel out your intended before you break open a can of pickup lines older than my great grandfather on her.

There are many reasons women end up swiping left or turning guys down or just convincing themselves someone better will come along.

When you’ve already captured your beautiful prize with other qualities outside of being a prize that make you care for her, use those pick up lines to make her laugh. She already knows you, you are in the safe zone called “Relationship.”


Don’t give the girl a reason to walk away before she gets to know you. Your goal, my cute cupcakes on a stick, is to enter the safe zone. Gather up all of your sports knowledge and pack it tightly into a little box, put that box into another box and then throw THAT box into another box, mail it to yourself and when it arrives SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!


Girls are not sports, that will not help you win this game. Try originality, look inside of yourself like Ariel looks at things from land. Look at that shit, isn’t it neat? Your collection is almost complete, my fishy flounders. Your princess awaits.

Special exception: Puns (always terrible and yet always funny)

Advice #12:

Dear boys,

Have you ever asked yourself what you could possibly be doing wrong when trying to find a lasting relationship? I’m sure every decent guy has. If, for some reason, you have never EVER thought to yourself “man, what am I doing wrong?” “should I do this…” “would she find this annoying/offensive/unattractive [take your pick of words]?” you may not be looking for a lasting relationship. If you don’t care, you won’t get one that means anything.

Here’s some real pieces of advice that I and MANY girls like me beg you to take to heart. Take risks. Care. Put in the effort.

Too many times have I seen the least amount of effort guys put in. A text here or there. An empty compliment. A date where they barely pay attention. These kind of guys enjoy feeling elusive because some girls like that. The kind of girls that like that mysteriousness, however, get bored just as quickly. It’s all about the chase. Not about what you win. In case you are unsure, you win a best friend, a bed mate, a lover. Someone who wants to understand you, back you up, support you, and care for you. Hopefully it’s the same vice versa.

Take the first leap and ask her out. Guys usually know within the first date if they like the girl or not, it takes girls a bit longer. Don’t be afraid to ask her out again. BE SPECIFIC. DO NOT SAY “hey, we should hang out again sometime.” Actually give her a possible date, time, and place you could have a second date. If you want to cover your bases, tell her that you are interested in another date, but if she isn’t too sure, you completely understand. Be a gentleman. Despite what some people believe, feminism isn’t about opening our own doors, its about knowing that we can if we wanted to and it will be socially acceptable. We still like our doors being held open for us. We still like our chairs being held out for us. Hand holding. An arm across the shoulders. Just read the body language clues. It’s a universal language.


Advice #13:

Everyone is in love with the idea of being in love. But, here is a sad truth–despite what books and movies would have you believe, love at first sight only happens when a child is born. Many (though unfortunately not all) parents will love their children at sight sometimes even before they are born and of course, unconditionally.

But that’s not the case with relationships.

An even bigger myth than love at first sight (in relationships) is the idea that an unrequited love (a one-sided attraction) is appealing. This goes for both guys and girls.


You may still consider them attractive, you may still even lust after them. But, knowing how amazing and gorgeous and intelligent each and every one of you are…think about it. If they don’t like you, that isn’t attractive.

It’s not a way for you to think “HOW DARE THEY NOT LIKE ME?” But you should stop and think, “They don’t like me? Then why do I like them?”

One of the pitfalls and problems of modern dating is this fascination that we have with unrequited love. It’s not attractive though. I don’t want someone that doesn’t want me. I want someone to want me. I want them to like me. To crave me. To tell me that they need me to make things better. To want to make my life better. I don’t want someone that doesn’t care about me and you shouldn’t either. You’re too good for that. You deserve better than that.

Advice #14:

Do NOT put yourself down as a way to start a conversation. Example:

“I know I’m like a total nerd and you’re way out of my league. But, I think you’re really cool and it would be great if we could go to a movie on friday.”

#1. Nerds ARE cool.

#2. Putting yourself down as a way to begin a conversation immediately says that you have confidence issues.

The kind of people who are okay with you putting yourself down are abusers and you don’t deserve that. Then there are people who are so sick and tired of hearing people put themselves down and they know that no matter what they say, you’ll still do it.

Here’s the thing…

EVERYONE has confidence issues. Those who say they don’t are either lying or selling you something. You don’t need to broadcast your insecurities. A fact about dating is that you don’t really start to get to know someone until you start exclusively dating. Aka putting a label on it.

So put a label on it before you get hardcore scary serious. You’ll never feel comfortable to share yourself with someone who isn’t truly #yours


(Reminder, because if I don’t post this someone who has nothing better to do with their life will be nick-picking this advice like fucking crazy and expecting political correctness. This advice is subjective and people enjoy/like/dislike/expect different things. This advice is meant for guys and girls looking to date each other. It is said in a semi-joking manner. A lot of it is true. A lot of it is over exaggerated.) 


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